hardship. music.

“Every morning I wake up and I tell myself this: It’s just one day, one twenty-four-hour period to get yourself through.”

Adam, from Where She Went by Gayle Forman

The first sentence from a book I read couple of weeks ago. Does it remind you of some lyrics in “Man in front of the Mirror”?

Adam is a 21 year old boy rock star, the vocal and guitarist of Shooting Star. He composes and writes lyrics. He reminds you of Yonghwa? (Even the band’s name has “star”!) Shooting Star had been doing good in the band’s hometown. One day, Adam’s love abandoned him without “a proper goodbye”. He was angry and all. He became a totally wasted soul for many months. But then he channeled all that anger and sadness into music and words. The album that came out as a result rocked the world … That reminds me of Lee Shin in Heartstrings, for that’s the kind of alternative ending I have imagined (Haven’t I said enough how unsatisfied I am with the ending of the drama?). Another thing. Some people say “Because I miss you …” is the most touching song that Yonghwa has composed so far. And I do agree with that. So when Yonghwa imagined himself to be Lee Shin with that totally broken heart, he was able to make music that touches the soul?

Back to my post title. I mean to ask: does one need to go through a lot of hardship in life to make good music? I actually mean to ask if one actually needs to go through some depression to make touching music. For we know our Yonghwa faces everything with this positive mind. Nothing has made him feel depressed from what we’ve seen. Or should I say, he’s had a good life? The hardship he and the other CNBLUE boys have faced in the last two years can’t compare to to things like broken families, painful breakups … At least the hard times they had were short.

If the answer to my above question is positive, I’d rather Yonghwa be not able to make too-awesome music. I can’t bare to see/know that he’s depressed. Playing a depressed drama character for once in a while is okay. I wish he can smile like this all the time. (Yonghwa tweeted a selca on Oct 01 after the performance in Japan.)

(That face reads: I know you’ve been talking about my hair!)

Never mind if you don’t know what I’ve been trying to say, for I’m not that sure myself.

PS I’m no serious reader. I could never digest serious literature. But Where She Went is beautifully written. A good light reading. In case you’re interested enough, be sure to read If I Stays first, for Where She Went is actually a sequel to it. Both books have won some awards in the YA novels department. (Btw, that’s my reading level!)

5 thoughts on “hardship. music.

  1. I don’t care what’s your reading level, you’re an awesome writer! I love this post. It’s well written and very thought-provoking.

    People say to be a good actor, you have to go out and experience life. That means you have to embrace life and take what life offers you. Happy, sweet, bitter, heartbreak, pain…everything. Then, and only then are you able to understand and correctly channel those emotions into your acting. I think this is the same with musicians.

    People always say Yonghwa is always able to inject the proper emotions into the songs he’s singing. Whether it’s a sad or a happy song, his voice and expression is always able to project it. And this is without the kind of ‘pain’ that others have felt. Think how much more awesome he would be as a musician if he’s able to experience it firsthand.

    With this said, do I think YH should experience pain? The answer is no. For like you, I can’t bear to know that he’s unhappy or depressed. But do I think he should embrace life? That answer is yes. I only hope that his life is always happy. Will his music suffer? I don’t know but to me, his music is already awesome enough as it is.

    You’ve given us a Catch-22, Klaritia 🙂

  2. Another interesting topic, klaritia… how do you come up with them? 🙂 But it really got me thinking so am posting before I go to bed.

    While Yong Hwa may not have had a difficult childhood, and his times as a trainee in Japan might have been tough but not extreme ‘hardship’ (yeah, they were hungry and tired but don’t think they were ever in any danger of dying from starvation), I think that his last year and a half since their debut must have been really difficult; physically, emotionally and mentally. The 2 biggest things that probably hit him at his most sensitive and vulnerable spots were accusations against his credibility as a person who is truly passionate about music, and the fear of losing his precious voice. I cannot imagine how hard the former must have impacted him for him to subject his body to the crazy schedule he then embarked on to 1) bring more exposure to his band 2) write songs instead of sleep to prove that they are capable of creating their own music, and scariest of all 3) continue to sing through his vocal cord nodule condition even though that might permanently injure his voice.

    I watched the scenes in Heartstrings where everyone made a big deal about Hee Joo’s vocal cord condition with a great sense of irony as I could imagine how Yong Hwa must have felt, knowing that he went through the exact same thing BUT forced himself to continue to sing. Our boy battled sheer exhaustion, ongoing scrutiny from every word/action he made, hateful criticisms from his antis and the constant fear of losing his voice, all for the sake of pursuing his dream. And he never whined about it in public, choosing instead to channeled it through his music with songs like Try Again, Smile Again and Man In The Mirror – both songs that are surprisingly uplifting (both in lyrics and rhythm) compared to his previous compositions.

    There are many different types of hardships, and I will not try to place one above another – how can one judge which is worse, to lose a loved one, go through a bad break-up, have your entire self-worth mocked at etc? They are all awful in their own way. But suffice to say that we will all have to weather some storms in life. The key is to be able to pull ourselves out of it, and I hope that Yong Hwa will continue to be surrounded by people who love and support him and find music as his channel to express himself.

    Gosh, I’ve gone and written an essay… 😛 Alright, bed time for me… Have a great week ahead!

    • @klaritia thanks for another interesting topic. So today our homework is on Hardship, Music. keke.

      @checkinout and @looby i liked how the way you had put it and i can’t stop nodding my head and raised up my two hands and legs to agree with u guys. You had flown out the thoughts in my head. The insufficent of rest and sleep (could make a person goes crazy) no time for kinship with his family, the lost of freedom to do what a youth would be doing now should be the hardships he is going through now.. What i fear most and worried most is the condition of his vocal cord nodule. Like u guys, i just want to see his gummy laughter and be happy everyday. Yonghwa ah! your smiles makes me smile and your laughter makes me laugh. To know he is happy is just what we are asking for!

    • Talking about his vocal cord nodule condition, I believe that’s one of his biggest ‘hardship’ in his ‘music’ career.  I’ve been wondering about this, since the Bluestorm concert, when fan said that his voice is in excellent condition,  does it mean his vocal cord nodule condition is all better, now? He doesn’t need a surgery? Or he is still under some treatments? Sigh… I sound like his doctor.  From what I read (from Wikipedia) the treatments for this: “involves vocal training, speech therapy, vocal rest. In rare cases, surgery may be required. ….having surgery can affect the ability to sustain notes, as well as alter the vocal range” . Ooooh..the horror!!  ;( 😦 

  3. As usual. You make an analyse that others cant think ^^. You are jjang Klaritia~ yes like you’ve said, Hardship and anything about emotion is suit with Yonghwa. He know well how to deliver it and make people feel the same. Sometimes I do feel how lucky is he to get all this precious emotion to express through music. Not all people can do it right? 🙂

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